5 tips for returning to work

I recently had my first weekend back at work. As you may know if you read my post about returning to work, I was extremely nervous. However I actually had a really wonderful couple of days (and sold a rather expensive ring which made the boss happy!) In a way it felt like I had never left - a perk, I guess, to only taking 7 months maternity leave. However it was also very different - I found myself worrying about Luke throughout the day, I got major baby brain and forgot what I was saying half way through talking to customers and by about 3 o'clock I was starting to flake.
Here are a few tips from me to you other working mummies out there to help your return to work run smoothly.

Get a coffee machine:
Before I was a mummy I didn't drink coffee. Now I live off the stuff (she says while sipping her deliciously strong espresso!) As well as being an essential mummy item, it also came in handy for my first day back at work. I have a Nespresso machine which my wonderful parents got me for my birthday this year. I love it because it makes espressos (the perfect mummy drink - all your caffeine in about 2 sips!) or you have the option to add water and make a full sized coffee! Fab for returning to work as it saves me spending silly amounts on Starbucks and usually making myself late waiting in the queue!

Wear a pair of killer heels:
Obviously I'm not talking 6" platforms, but I find wearing a pair of heels automatically boosts my confidence and makes me feel like I can conquer anything that is thrown at me. Having a little bit of extra confidence will make your return to work that little bit easier.

Buy a new handbag:
It sounds ridiculous, but one of the things I was most excited about on the day I went back to work was taking a handbag! Not a changing bag full of babywipes, bottles and various brightly coloured toys, but my beautiful, shiny, grownup Ted Baker handbag. I felt like the fanciest person in the world strutting through town clutching it! Of course to everyone else I just looked like an ordinary person carrying an ordinary handbag. But to me it felt like I was queen of the world!

Throw your whole self in (This feels like the start of the hokey cokey...):
If you decide as a mummy to return to work, whether full time or part time, my advice to you is to go for it with everything you've got. I have found that when I am at work I need to distance myself from being mummy Laura and throw myself into being work Laura. This way I really enjoy my days at the shop. Ok it helps that I get to spend my time selling diamonds and sparkly stuff (and of course trying all the beautiful jewellery on just to make sure it looks as nice on as it does off is an added bonus!) but I find that if I think about Luke too much, I miss him and it makes me sad which in turn means I don't enjoy my day. So I get on with being work Laura in the knowledge that I will have a whole 5 days of the week to be mummy and get all the cuddles I can to keep me going through those two days without.

Do something you love:
Ok, I am aware that this is not always possible - sometimes you just need something that pays the bills. But as a mummy, its surprisingly hard to leave your little one for a whole day especially when you are used to being with them all the time. If you can go back to doing something you enjoy, it makes leaving your baby for the day a whole lot easier and dare I say it... you might actually enjoy the break.

Those are my tips for going back to work - have you got any words of wisdom to share?

5 things no one tells you about being a mummy

When people find out you are pregnant, they cannot wait to jump on the band wagon and give you little pieces of advice (sometimes helpful and sometimes definitely not!) But there are some things that people leave out or fail to mention. To be honest I think if everyone knew all the truths and facts about becoming a parent, there may be a few less children in the world!
I have always been a baby person and been very involved with friends children, so I thought I knew quite a bit about babies. As it turns out, I was quite wrong and motherhood has been a huge learning curve for me!
Below are a few things that no one told me about becoming a mother... and I sort of wish they had!

You no longer have time for baths.
Have you ever read The Large Family '5 minutes peace' by Jill Murphy? I used to love it as a child and I found it absolutely hilarious! Now I totally get where mummy elephant is coming from and is no where near as funny now I am mummy elephant (in every sense after the number of teacakes I have consumed in the past 3 days!)
There is no time for baths when you are a mummy. A 5 minute shower if you're lucky where you only manage to shave one leg and forget to wash the conditioner out of your hair!
The only plus side to this is on the rare occasion that you do have time for a bath, it is the most wonderful thing in the world. Make sure you savour every second and have candles and a glass (*cough* BOTTLE *cough*) of wine with you.

You will no longer have a handbag.
Now to be fair people did tell me this. I naively thought I would carry round my beautiful Mulberry bag with me as well as the baby changing bag. As it turns out, this is not really very practical. Funnily enough when you are already carrying a car seat, a changing bag that weighs 5 tons, a dummy, a blanket, your child's favourite toy and probably a snotty baby wipe, you don't have a spare hand for your beloved handbag. Instead you have to shove your purse, phone and keys in the changing bag and hope they don't come out covered in milk or strawberry puffs (spoiler alert - they probably will)

You will have to make polite conversation with every single person you meet.
Even if you don't know them. In fact more often than not they will be a total stranger. Don't get me wrong, I think its lovely that people are friendly and take an interest in babies. But when you've had a crap night and have an over tired baby who needs to get home for lunch which you are already late for, the last thing you want to do is stand in Tesco and discuss whether your baby is a good sleeper (surely you can tell from my face that they most definitely are not?!)

There will be a point where you want to kill your husband.
Even if he has done nothing wrong and everything right, you will find yourself so irrationally angry and sleep deprived that there is a high chance you will ask Siri where you can hide a body. Of course after a glass of wine you calm down and realise that if you actually killed your husband, that you would have to get the wine from the fridge yourself. So you decide to keep him around.. at least for the moment.

You will feel a different kind of love to anything you have ever experienced.
Its funny - people tell you that you'll love your baby in a way that you can't imagine. And you nod along and think you know what they are talking about. But until you hold that little person that you made and carried for the first time, there is no way on earth that you can even begin to imagine how fiercely protective you will feel of that little life. Or how close to bursting you will feel when they smile at you and put their hand on your face. Or how proud yet petrified you will be when they sit up for the first time and you realise they're no longer a helpless little baby.

What have you learnt since becoming a mummy? Do you wish you had known before you had your little one? Or are you glad you got to find out along the way?

Back to work after maternity leave

Well that went quickly... In two days time I officially go back to work and have to be a proper grownup that doesn't wear pyjamas all day and talks about something other than jumperoos or the contents of my sons nappy. 

I have mixed feelings about my return to work. As I'm only going back 2 days a week, I am still going to have plenty of time with my cheeky little pickle. But when I decided to go back I did naively think he would be sleeping better (obviously this was before I actually had the baby!)

On the one hand I can't wait to be back. I work in a jewellery shop and I LOVE my job. Helping people choose their engagement and wedding rings is one of the most amazing, exciting things and rewarding things to do. (Not to mention sitting in the window trying on all the enormous diamonds -- don't tell my boss!) 

Sadly the thing I think I am looking forward to most is wearing proper grown up clothes that aren't covered in sick/wee/whatever Luke has had for lunch that day - I can't wait to put on a pencil skirt and heels! (I know that sounds so lame but it's the little things in life right?!) 

I am also looking forward to getting part of myself back that has sort of felt like it's been missing while I've been on maternity leave. I put a lot into my job, and although I love spending time with my baby I have really missed feeling as useful and appreciated as I do at work. 

However I am also nervous. Will I still be able to function at work if I've had a grand total of 3 hours sleep the night before? Will I still enjoy my job as much as I did before? And most importantly how will I cope with not seeing my little boy for 2 whole days? The hours I work mean I will often leave before he wakes and come back after bedtime. I have never been more than a few hours without Luke - how am I going to cope with working 2 consecutive days where I don't see him at all? 

Putting my mixture of excitement and doubt aside, I am very blessed with the capacity in which I am able to go back to work. I am lucky enough to only be going back 2 days a week which means I am still able to have plenty of time with Luke. And not only that, thanks to my husband and my darling mother I am able to go to work knowing he is being looked after by people who truly care for him. And for that I am eternally grateful.

So now to get back to the very important tasks at hand - choosing an outfit, picking out a handbag and looking out my much needed travel coffee cup! 

Roll on Friday... Let's do this. 

    New clothes is the reason you go back right?! 

Our first family holiday

Life is just starting to get back to normal after returning from our first ever holiday as a family to Cyprus last week. 

    By the pool on our first family holiday

Our flight left at 7:30 from Gatwick which meant a rather early start (leaving our house at 2am) however this timing worked really well for Luke as it meant he slept for the 2 1/2 hour car journey to the airport. 

I was honestly hugely impressed with both the airport and the airline when it came to being family friendly. 

Gatwick had a special separate family section for going through security, meaning we didn't have to queue and were through and out the other side within about 10 minutes (one of the perks of travelling with a baby - you rarely have to queue!)

We purchased a fold down pram especially for the holiday as we didn't want our iCandy getting ruined in the hold of the aeroplane. We ended up going for the Mamas and papas chevron buggy. I have to say I was hugely impressed with this considering what we paid. It folded down really quickly and easily making things a lot simpler at the airport. It also reclined all the way back which was fab for when Luke was asleep and it was very easy to steer. The only slight criticism I had was the storage underneath - it was baggy and things kept falling out of it. But all in all I was very impressed. 

Luke was an absolute angel on the flight out and I was so proud of him. 4 1/2 hours is a long time to be in one place and he was good as gold. The Easyjet staff were lovely with Luke and the plane itself was really comfy - I was pleasantly surprised! 

Obviously going to Cyprus we were hoping for beautiful sunshine and toasty warm temperatures. The first few days were a bit rubbish weather wise, although the lack of sunshine was made up for my the amazing thunderstorms we had at night. They were unlike anything I've seen in England! 

Thankfully for my pasty pale legs, the sun showed its face a couple of days in and it was divine. We found it that Luke has his daddy's skin, he just has to look at the sun and he gets a gorgeous tan (unlike me who can spend weeks frying myself in the sun and get no more than a slight golden glow) 

    Indulging in a little bit of baby tanning!

I tried to get Luke to have a dip in the pool (which was gorgeous by the way!) but it was a little bit on the chilly side and after tears when his feet were dipped in, I decided it probably wasn't best to go any further! 

The food was amazing and I ate my weight in seafood, had plenty of gin and tonics by the pool and was generally a little over indulgent! We went out for cocktails one night and I had the best Cosmopolitan I think I've ever tried. 

   Seafood feast on the balcony 

We also hit some developmental milestones while we were out there (it's amazing the changes that happen in a mere week!)

Luke rolled over for the first time and... Wait for it... HE SLEPT THROUGH! 

Unfortunately the second victory was short lived and hasn't happened since we got home. Which if you think about it logically, means we really should move to hot, sunny, gin filled Cyprus. For the baby's sake of course...

    Beautiful sunset by the sea

    Bravely holding a nappiless baby! 

    The view from our gorgeous room

Confessions of a nearly yummy mummy...

I've read a couple of confession blog posts recently and they always make me chuckle. So I thought I'd share mine with you in the hope that I'm not the only one who does these! 

I use babywipes for everything...

Yes I do literally mean everything. Cleaning baby, cleaning surfaces, wiping Windows. I even use them as makeup remover wipes (sometimes I just don't have the energy to cleanse, tone and moisturise!)

Sometimes I pretend to be asleep... 

Usually at the weekend to see if my husband will take a hint and get up to feed Luke instead of me (it never works but it's worth a try right?!)

My 6 month old watched CBeebies...

Not often. But sometimes I need to clean or put on the washing. Or do my makeup so I don't look like a 15 year old sleep deprived drug addict! And sometimes the only thing that keeps him quiet is the Twirlywoos (even though it does my head in)

I have called my baby an arsehole...

Ok this I am not proud of. I will try and justify it by letting you all know that it's usually preceded with "I love you but..." Still not great I know, but when it's 3am and you've been awake for the past 2 hours for the millionth night in a row it's kind of true...! 

I'm a bit addicted to shopping online...

I have always been a slight shopaholic but since having a baby I have so much more time to browse the Internet (mainly asos while feeding/being a human mattress) which inevitably ends in multiple deliveries to our flat and a sad and empty looking bank account at the end of the month...! 

By baby's favourite toy is my iPhone...

At this rate he will be more tech savvy than me (not that it's particularly hard) by the age of 2! 

Monday's are pyjama days...

Every week. There's something about Monday mornings that just make me not want to leave the house or get out of my super comfy jammies (they're Ted Baker and I LOVE them)

Sometimes I dry shampoo my hair 3 days in a row...

Yes this does mean that I haven't washed my hair for about 5 days. But sometimes it's just too much effort. And dry shampoo makes it look so lovely and volumous! 

I 'go to the toilet' so I can check Facebook...

And get some peace and quiet. I know it's trivial but sometimes I need to know what's going on outside mummy world! And sometimes it's the only way to get my husband to take the baby and not hand him back after 2 minutes! It does however make people a little suspicious as to why you spend so long in the bathroom. 

I told you mine... Now tell me, what are your best and worst confessions - mummies and non mummies! 

Love your post baby body.

A friend of mine recently went on holiday with her fiancé and little boy. While eating out at a restaurant with her 4 month old son on her lap, the waitress looked across at her and remarked - "and another on the way?!"

Now not only does she not look remotely pregnant, but even if she did it has been a mere 4 months since she had her gorgeous little boy and it got me thinking - it takes 9 months to grow a baby, why does the world expect us to be back in our pre-pregnancy skinny jeans within a few short months? 

It is hard enough to have the motivation and willpower to stick to a diet and exercise programme when you don't have a baby. Throw in sleepless nights, a feeding schedule and trying to make your house resemble something a little less like a pigsty and it's not surprising that most mums aren't desperate to start a diet of salad leaves and pack gym sessions into their evenings. 

Now don't get me wrong, they're are some mums out there who shrink straight back down, or who do work hard at the gym to get their pre-pregnancy bodies back. And that is fine. But for those who want to spend their evenings when the baby has settled, on the sofa with their other half eating chocolate and drinking wine, having a bubble bath or simply crawling into bed in a desperate attempt to get more than 2 hours sleep, we should not be chastised or judged. 

I personally have done both in my 6 months since having Luke. 

Having always been a slight control freak with my figure, I was desperate to get my pre-baby body back. A few weeks after leaving hospital, I was back on my exercise bike and I have to say at the time I genuinely enjoyed it. It was a good stress reliever for me. However this last month (despite needing to be bikini ready for my holiday this week!) I have done no exercise and treated myself to more than my fair share of chocolate (Galaxy salted caramel anyone?! If you haven't tried it, go to the shop NOW!)

When you're a mum, and when you're not for that matter, sometimes you need to put your happiness and well being before your desire to get a supposedly perfect body. You have years to get your fitness back, don't break your yourself trying to do it while you're still having little more than 2 hours sleep at a time. 

In the end, your child isn't going to remember the fact that their mum looked awesome in her size 8 skinnies or had washboard abs 9 weeks post partum. They will remember that you cuddled them when they needed it, did anything you could think of to make them giggle and put them first no matter what. 

The phrase is happy mummy equals happy baby. Do what makes YOU happy, not what society dictates you should do. 

I'm heading off on holiday this week and have bought a new bikini to soak up the sunshine in. My body is not nearly as toned as before - my tummy isn't as flat, my boobs aren't as perky, my bum isn't as peachy and I still have my pregnancy line going up my stomach. But I had a baby 6 months ago. So that considered, I am actually pretty damn proud of how my body looks right now. Sunshine and cocktails here I come! 

When being a mummy gets a bit too much...

As a mother, you encounter more than your fair share of laugh or cry moments. I have found that in order to steer clear of becoming a sobbing mess on the kitchen floor, it helps to make a joke out of it and share it with the world (the main reason why I am so in love with the Unmummsy mum's Twitter feed!) 

Ok so maybe not the whole world but at least a close mummy friend who can sympathise and laugh along. 

These experiences are usually shared via text message at ridiculous hours of night, dictating the appalling amount of chocolate/wine you have consumed and are filled with an obscene amount of profanities!) 

There was the time I'd slept so little the previous night that I couldn't quite bring myself to get off the floor, but was greeted by a reply that made me laugh so much I managed to perk up and find the strength to get through the night shift!

The day that everything decided to go tits up all at once and my lovely friend got bombarded with messages while I tried not to have a mental breakdown...

The day our incredible business plan began to take form (we are still working on it and I will inform you when we take the idea to Dragons Den)

And then the day where I seriously considered giving my cat away at 5 o'clock in the morning...

It may just be my experience, but I have found that even at 6 months the hard days by far outweigh the easy ones. However having someone to laugh and joke about it with is what gets you through it all and out the other side (the other side being 7:30pm where there is wine and chocolate and a big squishy sofa you can curl up on) 

Stay strong fellow mummies. And if you ever need someone to have a mini-mental breakdown at, I am always at the other end of my emails :-)



 

The joys of sleep deprivation...

There's a reason sleep deprivation is a method of torture, it's because it is crap. Seriously crap. It's not just a newborn phase - there are sleep regressions (no one warned me about these!), teething (Luke's current favourite) and then the nights that are just awful for no reason! 

You're woken every two hours, probably thrown up/dribbled on several times and spend God knows how long trying to rock your screaming bundle of joy back to sleep (often unsuccessfully I might add). You are then expected to get up at the crack of dawn and spend the entire day being excited about everything and entertaining your child, who undoubtedly will be full of beans and be totally oblivious to the effect their night time games have had on you. 

The best comparison I can make is to that of an epic hangover. I'm talking the kind where you don't even want to eat or get dressed and you just curl up in a ball on the sofa watching trashy TV and feeling sorry for yourself. 

However as a mum, not only do you get deprived of the option to do any of that, but you don't even get the fun part of drinking and partying the night before! 

I know it is part of being a mum and it's all worth it in the end, but right now in my current hazy, blurry eyed little world, it is crap. Really really crap. 

So next time you're in Starbucks and see a mummy with a baby - be a saint and buy her an extra strong coffee. It will probably be the best thing that happens to her all week...! 

Mummy makeup...

Back in my pre-baby days I used to spend a leisurely half hour carefully applying my make-up every morning. However the days of contouring my cheekbones or spending 20 minutes applying beautifully sleek black flicks to my top lids are now far behind me.

I still wear make-up most days as I find it makes me feel a little bit less far away from my pre-mummy self. I am quite proud to say that I have managed to perfect a full face of make up in 7 minutes so I thought I would share with you my favourite products that help me achieve this.

My favourite ever item of makeup has got to be my foundation. Although I only suffer with the occasional spot, my complexion is appalling. Team that up with the now enormous bags under my eyes and it is safe to say my skin does not exactly radiate a healthy glow! It has taken me years to find a foundation that gives good coverage and stays put for more than a few hours but I have found that the Estee Lauder double wear foundation is second to none for giving you flawless skin that lasts all day. It's a little pricey but you don't need a huge amount and it is worth every penny. 

Because my foundation gives very high coverage, I tend to resemble a ghost if I don't apply some sort of blusher or bronzer. Summer I tend to bronze myself and winter I opt for blusher. My favourite bronzer at the moment is a fairly reasonable Bodyshop one which is like a bronzer and blusher combined so saves you having to apply both separately!

This is only something I have started using since I had Luke. My skin doesn't even look close to glowing anymore (the joy of zero sleep) but highlighter means I can pretend and apply my own glow! I use  Soap & Glory Glow All Out which I apply it down my nose and on my cheek bones. It is literally magic - you will look like you've had a whole nights sleep. 

A definite mummy essential. My 2 favourites are Lancome Grandiose Mascara which gives you super lashes with just one coat (and has a really pretty tube!) and Seventeen Va Va Voom Mascara if I want something a bit more subtle (and affordable!)

The other essential in my mummy make up bag is my Benefit Instant Brow pencil. This is amazing and gives you gorgeous brows in less than a minute.

I finish off with a quick slick of lippy to make myself look extra polished and I'm done! My favourite lipsticks are nude colours by Estee Lauder, Lancome and Rimmel.

Those are my current make up favourites... What are yours?

P.s. I challenge all you fellow mummies to a full face of make up in less than 7 minutes!

The importance of mummy friends.

One of the things I worried about most during my pregnancy was how and where I was going to meet other mummies. As the first of my friends to have a baby, I didn't have anyone who was going to be in the same position as me and with my hormones raging and my brain being completely irrational, I was of course convinced I was going to be a hermit mummy with no friends at all.

I toyed with the idea of NCT courses which thankfully we decided not to do, as Luke's early arrival would have meant a huge waste of money and no classes! I subsequently decided I was just going to go to every available baby group in our area and surely I was bound to make some other mummy friends.

In the end I needn't have worried at all. I have met all my wonderful fellow mummies through friends of friends. Someone you know will always have a friend who is pregnant or has a new baby and they will be dying to introduce you, as chances are that mummy to be will be equally worried about being lonely.

I am very blessed to have a wonderful and ever growing group of gorgeous mummy friends who join me at baby groups, drink obscene amounts of coffee with me and sympathise and commiserate when I am running on only 2 hours sleep. I have one particularly special mummy who I message a ridiculous amount, at every antisocial hour of the day and who has seen me at my very worst - looking like hell and sobbing like a toddler in the middle of an epic tantrum. Despite the fact that I have known her for a mere 6 months, I count her as one of my closest friends and I know that she will always be there if I need her and I will do the same for her. Being responsible for miniature, teething dictators gives your friendship a special bond that only a fellow mummy can truly understand!

So pregnant or new mummies, try not to worry. No matter what your age or job or stage in life, you will make mummy friends who will support you and help you through one of the hardest times in your life. I have met mine through friends, in hospital, at baby groups and even re-connected with one of my old school teachers!
When you have a baby you will make the most wonderful friends and trust me, they will be some of the most important and wonderful people to ever step into your life.

Sometimes it's nice to feel yummy...

Maybe it's just me, but in my mere 6 months experience as a mummy I have found that the occasional bit of pampering is extremely important!
It's sometimes the little things that get you through the hard days - really yummy smelling hand cream, your favourite perfume or miraculously having time for a bath when (IF!) the baby finally settles.

The last few months I have found that I cannot live without my Gelish nails. Once every 2 weeks, I leave the baby with my hubby and visit a lovely lady who spends an  hour or so making my hands look gorgeous. A whole hour all to myself where I don't have a screaming baby and can stop being mummy, just for a second.

And to make it even better I have beautiful nails for a whole 2 weeks. God knows I no longer have time to sit and patiently wait for regular varnish to dry without being interrupted by dirty nappies, baby sick or the dog barking and putting and end to nap time - have you ever tried holding a baby with wet nails? Don't. It does not end well...!
For me, this seemingly trivial little treat means that on the days where the night has been crap, I am wearing pyjamas covered in *insert bodily fluid* and I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards, I catch sight of my hands and still feel just a little bit fancy. It's the little things that make all the difference.

So if you know someone with a baby, offer to babysit and send them off for a treat. And mummies if you are feeling the need for a little TLC (I don't know a single mummy that doesn't) enlist the help of partners, friends or family and get yourself down to a salon for a tiny bit of you time - occasionally it's allowed :)