Confessions of a nearly yummy mummy...

I've read a couple of confession blog posts recently and they always make me chuckle. So I thought I'd share mine with you in the hope that I'm not the only one who does these! 

I use babywipes for everything...

Yes I do literally mean everything. Cleaning baby, cleaning surfaces, wiping Windows. I even use them as makeup remover wipes (sometimes I just don't have the energy to cleanse, tone and moisturise!)

Sometimes I pretend to be asleep... 

Usually at the weekend to see if my husband will take a hint and get up to feed Luke instead of me (it never works but it's worth a try right?!)

My 6 month old watched CBeebies...

Not often. But sometimes I need to clean or put on the washing. Or do my makeup so I don't look like a 15 year old sleep deprived drug addict! And sometimes the only thing that keeps him quiet is the Twirlywoos (even though it does my head in)

I have called my baby an arsehole...

Ok this I am not proud of. I will try and justify it by letting you all know that it's usually preceded with "I love you but..." Still not great I know, but when it's 3am and you've been awake for the past 2 hours for the millionth night in a row it's kind of true...! 

I'm a bit addicted to shopping online...

I have always been a slight shopaholic but since having a baby I have so much more time to browse the Internet (mainly asos while feeding/being a human mattress) which inevitably ends in multiple deliveries to our flat and a sad and empty looking bank account at the end of the month...! 

By baby's favourite toy is my iPhone...

At this rate he will be more tech savvy than me (not that it's particularly hard) by the age of 2! 

Monday's are pyjama days...

Every week. There's something about Monday mornings that just make me not want to leave the house or get out of my super comfy jammies (they're Ted Baker and I LOVE them)

Sometimes I dry shampoo my hair 3 days in a row...

Yes this does mean that I haven't washed my hair for about 5 days. But sometimes it's just too much effort. And dry shampoo makes it look so lovely and volumous! 

I 'go to the toilet' so I can check Facebook...

And get some peace and quiet. I know it's trivial but sometimes I need to know what's going on outside mummy world! And sometimes it's the only way to get my husband to take the baby and not hand him back after 2 minutes! It does however make people a little suspicious as to why you spend so long in the bathroom. 

I told you mine... Now tell me, what are your best and worst confessions - mummies and non mummies! 

When being a mummy gets a bit too much...

As a mother, you encounter more than your fair share of laugh or cry moments. I have found that in order to steer clear of becoming a sobbing mess on the kitchen floor, it helps to make a joke out of it and share it with the world (the main reason why I am so in love with the Unmummsy mum's Twitter feed!) 

Ok so maybe not the whole world but at least a close mummy friend who can sympathise and laugh along. 

These experiences are usually shared via text message at ridiculous hours of night, dictating the appalling amount of chocolate/wine you have consumed and are filled with an obscene amount of profanities!) 

There was the time I'd slept so little the previous night that I couldn't quite bring myself to get off the floor, but was greeted by a reply that made me laugh so much I managed to perk up and find the strength to get through the night shift!

The day that everything decided to go tits up all at once and my lovely friend got bombarded with messages while I tried not to have a mental breakdown...

The day our incredible business plan began to take form (we are still working on it and I will inform you when we take the idea to Dragons Den)

And then the day where I seriously considered giving my cat away at 5 o'clock in the morning...

It may just be my experience, but I have found that even at 6 months the hard days by far outweigh the easy ones. However having someone to laugh and joke about it with is what gets you through it all and out the other side (the other side being 7:30pm where there is wine and chocolate and a big squishy sofa you can curl up on) 

Stay strong fellow mummies. And if you ever need someone to have a mini-mental breakdown at, I am always at the other end of my emails :-)