Baby led living. Or 'sod it and do whatever the fuck works on the day parenting' as my friend likes to call it.
We have had a bedtime routine for Luke since he was about 6 weeks old and it works brilliantly for us. However the rest our day was a little bit all over the place so, I recently decided to try and create a schedule for us so our days had a little bit more structure to them.
As the mummy of a 6 month old I have read my fair share of baby books. Add in the fact that my little one has allergies, doesn't sleep fantastically and suffers with reflux and I probably have enough books to start my own library (plus the ones I have frantically downloaded to my kindle at 3am while desperately trying to rock Luke back to sleep!) So I flicked through the pages and came up with a vague plan to get our daytime routine started.
I decided to go with the general idea of waking him at a set time every day, putting him down for a nap around 10 and then another around 2. A lot of advice told me that putting my baby in his cot at a set time each day would eventually lead him to learn that those were the times he should nap and that waking him at a set time every day would help set his circadian rhythm. We tried this and it did not work out well! I persevered and all I ended up with was a cranky baby and a grumpy, tired, stressed out mummy.
So instead of trying to force Luke to do things at set times I decided to follow his lead and see what he wanted. As soon as I started to take note of Luke's natural routine rather than one I was trying to force on him, things started to take shape. I have since learnt that Luke needs to wake up when he is naturally ready and not be woken (this can be as early as 6am and very very occasionally as late as 8:30). I have learnt that he won't take a nap as soon as he shows sleepy signs - he has to be pushed as far as he can until he's exhausted, then he's out like a light and usually has a good nap! And I have learnt that sometimes he'll have a long 2 hour nap and other times he'll be wide awake and raring to go after only half an hour! We just have to take it one day at a time.
I think books sometimes help by enabling you to get an idea of what could work. However it is so so important to remember that every baby is different, what works for one baby won't necessarily work for another. And just to make it even more confusing, what works one day for your baby might not work the next (they change their mind from day to day just to keep us on our toes - because it's not hard enough already!)
Although strict routines work for some people, I think that baby led living may be the way forward for others. Don't worry If it's all going wrong and trying to create a routine isn't working for you - try having more of a rhythm to your day rather than a rigid routine and be led by what your baby wants to do. After all, think of it from the point of view of an adult. We are not always tired at the same time, sometimes we want an early night and sometimes we can stay up late into the night. I don't imagine babies are any different. That's just my take on things, but if you're struggling with routine then being led by your baby may just be worth a try.
